Monthly Archives: January 2012

Making Internet History…maybe

So the The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers is accepting requests for words that can replace the com, org, or what-have-you that goes after the “.” in a url. This could make internet history…but the ICANN is only accepting the requests from January 12th to April 12th. So it seems that they will only add the requested words to the current list containing only 22 words.

I think this will only add to confusion. Now we have to remember one extra word in an address. I just don’t see a benefit and I doubt there will be any huge turnaround in the urls. Smart businesses will stick to the traditional endings.

McDonald's.yum?

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Occupy D.C. – another update

The government has finally decided to take control of things. They have ordered the 99% to get their unruly, rat attracting butts out of the park they’ve been camping in for months. If they aren’t gone today (Jan. 30th) they’re goin in the slammer.

So I’m really hoping these people listen. The officials are saying that the tents can stay, but people can’t sleep there and sleeping bags must go. They should have cleared the park out completely, but I guess they’re taking it step by step.

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A hammer needs to occupy the back of ALL of their heads…

At the same occupy D.C. camp site where the little girl was found alone in the tent (scroll down two or three posts) all of the protesters (and their babies) have been told to clear out…I think that because of the reason, they may actually listen to authorities this time…rats are infesting the camp.

Why can’t people realize that animals eat food and that when you leave it out on ground level, they can smell it and then they will eat the food (best run-on sentence ever). The fact that they’re there (the rats that put up the tents not the rats infesting them) is pointless and causes enough problems as it is. The least they can do is be clean and not try and start another bubonic (sp?) plague outbreak. Shouldn’t we have learned our lesson from the first one?!

No matter what, there are easier, less harmful, and more effective ways to get the points (yes, that’s plural because let’s be real…there is no one point) across and the changes made…This needs to stop.

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Bound by the surprise of your glory day…

There are two problems with what happened here…

#1. How could any apple store…ANYWHERE (China, America, Swaziland, Jupiter) not be prepared for the crowds that would gather at the store in the capital city of the country…they were releasing the 4s and they were seriously surprised at the multitude of the crowd?!

manager of the store as he’s looking at the crowd for the first time:

“oh snap…that’s a lot of people…there’s no way we can let all those wild banshees in just to wreck our store…I know they’ve been waiting here for days in the freezing cold and I know that the money we would have made today would easily pay for any repairs/cleaning that would need to be done afterwards, but…Nah…I’m just not feelin’ it, today…Yo, Jack, tell ’em to go home.”

But at the same time, I can’t take but so much pity on these people because of problem #2:

If you are so obsessed with getting a phone first that you would wait in a line in the cold for 2 days, then you need to seek some help…IT’S JUST A PHONE…be glad that you can even afford it (and some of these jokers probably can’t)…

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This is just zip-a-dee-doo-DUMB

See this man…

He got arrested. This is his mugshot. Casey, would you like to tell me more painstakingly obvious and pointless information? No. But I would like to tell you his legal name. Here it is. Completely legal: Bezow Doo Doo Zoppitybop bop-bop. DEAD SERIOUS. With a clown’s name, you would never expect him to have been charged with carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, and probation violation…maybe that was his plan! With such a dumb, clownlike name, no one would ever suspect him of the crimes…maybe he wasn’t completely stoned when he changed it…from JEFFREY…yes. His old name…was Jeffrey. He’s 30 and lives in Wisconsin.

And here’s the hilarious irony that lies in all of this: he looks sorta like Jesus. That’s just proof that Jesus looks nothing like we think He does.

You see it? I see it.

I wonder what he plans on naming his kids…Bezow…not Jesus…

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A hammer needs to occupy the back of this man’s head…

A man was arrested after this 13-month-old child was found unattended at McPherson Square.

Isn't she adorable...

See this baby girl. Shes 13 months old. She is not like other 1 year olds. She’s disadvantaged. How? Her guardian is a moron.

If his name and picture had been released I would have put it up in a heartbeat because I love ruining the reputations of dingbats…but they haven’t released. It. What did he do to her?

It’s 10:00 am. You are in a park in Washington DC occupying the park (translation: camping with a bunch of strangers because you have nothing better to do.). When you hear what sounds like a baby crying. This goes on for about twenty minutes straight. Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You gather up your friends to go see what is wrong with this poor child and why no one is stopping it.

After a few minutes of searching, you open a tent to find the child above alone in a tent during the rainy, 40 degree weather…in a onesie and mittens. Scene.

Child protective services now has the baby. The guardian didn’t return for another half hour after the baby was discovered. This makes me so mad. Not only did the man bring his baby to an occupy protest (which are basically like little villages of anarchy and definitely no place for babies). But he left her alone in a tent for who knows how long not even dressed for the weather. If he’s gonna abandon her, he could’ve at least given her a fighting chance by the means of CLOTHING.

It's just not fair...

I mean what kind of crotchstain does this to a child? I don’t care who the 99% is. HIS BABY SHOULD BE HIS 100%. I hope they take her away from him. The sad thing is, all he had to do was pick her up and take her with him. I mean, he brought her there in the first place. She doesn’t look like she weighs a lot to me. 25 lbs tops (I looked it up). He was charged with attempted second degree child cruelty.

And I must not be in the 99% because I sure am tired of all this occupy crap. Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’m not happy about, but I’m generally happy with America. People (occupiers) forget how much worse it could be. We’re so ungrateful that it sickens me. It seems like we are some of the most unpatriotic  people…at least we CAN protest…it’s stuff like that that people forget.

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This time won’t you save me? This time won’t you save me? Baby I can feel myself givin up…givin up…

Do you want to have to explain to your kids and/or grandkids what a twinkie is (I will not use past tense yet)? Are you ready to say sianara (sp?) to the snowball? Do you want to say deuces to the ding dong? Are you ready to say holla to the ho hos?? Well, you may have to. Why? Hostess has filed for Chapter 11.

please...don't go...

What is Chapter 11? Well it’s a type of bankruptcy (which I didn’t know types even existed until now…). What does it entail? I don’t have all the friggin’ answers?! Stop asking so many questions! jk…I really didn’t feel like reading all of its explanation so you gotta look for yourself if you really want to know. Lazy much? Well, I’m typing. You’re reading. Who is burning more calories? Das what I thought. Bad joking aside, Chapter 11 looked really boring and complicated and I just wasn’t feelin’…

The point is: Hostess may die. We can’t let this happen. Hostess has been around for 82 years. Bet your grandma isn’t even that old! She is? 97? Look, a llama!

But seriously. Go buy a Twinkie. Get it bronzed. May be worth something someday. Oh yeah…and the wonder bread…forgot about that…

 

 

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SECURITYYYYY!!!

Hotel Kämp in Helsinki, Finland which is operated by Starwood Hotels and Resorts Worldwide apparently was not informed about the invention of lying. How do you know that, Casey? Well, a woman named Alison Fournier was staying there and was up in her room sleeping. A man who had made an attempt at flirting with Alison earlier that day and was clearly rejected went up to the counter and told the concierge that he was her husband. THEY GAVE HIM A KEY. Spoiler alert: she woke up with the fool groping her naked body.

If only he had walked in on Ms. McKinley...(search my site for "black widow" if you don't get it)

Why did they give him a key?! Why was she sleeping naked in any place that wasn’t her house (she was, too)?! How could she be that heavy a sleeper that she didn’t hear the door, his footsteps, or him getting into the bed??

UGH…I hope the place goes out of business…

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Shoulda sent a thank you note…now I’mma wrap your coffin with a bow…

Remember that good-Samaritan situation that went down between us (America) and Iran? If not, see the post titled “S.O.S please someone help m- wait…not YOU!”. Well America has seemed to do something else that, even if the tension was relieved, it would be back by now. So what did America do? Well…according to Iran news and articles and stuff (which could have blown the entire situation out of proportion) there’s an Iranian-born man working with the CIA named Amir Mirzaei Hekmati who was trying to use video games to brainwash Iranians. Amir says that he was hired by a game company called Kuma that is paid by the C.I.A to make games that have subliminal messages and other persuasive tactics in them (also known as brainwashing) to make middle easterners believe that the work America is doing there is, in fact, a good thing.

You have just been washed in the brain...you will now bring me chicken that is fried...very much of this.

Amir has already been sentenced to death for spying (which it doesn’t seem he’s done.), so he hasn’t got much to lose…so Iran is pissed off again. Ugh…you would think America would think of a better solution than getting people to distribute brain-cleansing video games…you would think Iran would be a little more understanding…I don’t know. What do y’all think?

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S.O.S please someone help m- wait…not YOU!

A REAL good Samaritan situation has happened between the most unlikely of countries: America and…Iran. America and Iran are not the best of friends. There is a TON of tension between us…so it would really confuse Iran if we did something nice for them. Well…we did.

So I bet it’s been a while since you’ve heard a good story about pirates…you may not have even known that they even still existed…well sure they don’t say “arrrrgh” anymore and they’ve ditched the peglegs, hook hands, eyepatches, and sails with skulls on them, but they still exist…

Some Somalian pirates captured 13 Iranians and was keeping them hostage. After about a month, the U.S.S. Kidd sailed up and rescued the Iranians from the ship after hearing a distress call. The U.S.S. Kidd…is an American Destroyer (don’t let the whole destroyer thing throw you off. I’m pretty sure they’re good people).

Did Iran thank us? Nah. Was the tension cleared? Nope. So what did Iran do. Well, they took their men back and shrugged it off…an Iranian broadcaster said that “we welcome such behavior”. It’s as if they’re saying “This is what you should’ve been doing all along as opposed to all the other crazy trouble you’ve been causing.” So what do we have to do to make Iran happy?! Why can’t all the countries just get along? Why does land have to belong to a country? Why can’t we all just share everything (without becoming one big nation)?

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