It’s a beautiful night…i’m lookin’ for somethin dumb to do…hey baby…I think I’m gonna bury you…

Hey, Casey, It’s marry, not bury. I know it is for Bruno Mars, but not for some people…

You know how you can find all of those red flag guides for relationships. Like red flags that your partner is cheating, abusive, or controlling or whatever. Well what about red flags that your boyfriend wants to kill you? Why don’t they have that? And that’s more important than the others! And that is surely what 27 year old Michelina Lewendowska (she’s British) needed…

So her wonderful fiance was, according to him, trying to “scare” her one day. If she is horribly terrified of dying ,as many Americans are, then he did succeed. What did he do? Well him (his name is Marcin Kasprzak) and his friend (Patryk Borys) tasered…tased…her in the neck (that has got to be one of the top 5 worst places!). She tried to push them back when they bound and gagged her then shoved her into a cardboard computer box. They taped up the box, tossed it in the trunk, and drove to the woods.

File:Turtle Creek Embankment western side of road cut.jpg

It looked something like this. The leaves were on the trees in the video, though.

By now, don’t you think they’ve already scared the living llamas out of this poor woman?! Well they didn’t think they did a sufficient job of this because once they got to the woods, they took the box to the top of a hill and buried it. Now, by what I could tell from various videos I watched, they didn’t dig a six-foot hole or anything. It seemed more like they covered the box in dirt until they couldn’t see it anymore.

But while she was trapped in that box, there was something that made her glad she was engaged to this insane criminal/”prankster”. Casey, have you taken a trip down the psycho path? How could this woman possibly be glad she was engaged to him?? Well because of her ring. She was able to cut the tape that was binding her, cut the cardboard, and free herself!

See, our choice of a best friend isn't superficially based

Her and her fiance are no longer together (if she had stayed with that fool…I would have tried to scare her next…). His defense is that it was all just a joke and he was just trying to scare her (mission accomplished…I hope you’re proud of yourself, you hitler…). She is saying that he tried to kill her and wanted her dead….

So in honor of Michelina, I’m going to make a list of red flags that your boyfriend may be trying to bury you alive.

  • he recently bought a huge roll of tape
  • he won’t get rid of a large box that has been lying across the house
  • he is in possession of any lethal or nonlethal weapons that are not your average handgun or pistol.
  • he often minimizes the severity of his “pranks”
  • His friends are VERY loyal to him.
So there you are. Okay…stay safe and keep a watch on your men, ladies.

 

 

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