He gotta dirty mind…He got filthy ways…

So everyone’s heard about how a fourth woman has publicly accused Herman Cain of sexual assault…and no one really knows for sure whether these chicks are lying or not. I mean, it’s possible that Herman could have gone on a wild molestation spree back in the day…but it still seems really odd because why would these women wait until now to say anything? And four? Four? For the average person…that’s a lot of crotch grabbin’. Especially if you are planning on running for president later.

Here he is in case you didn't know what eh looked like

So I’m still pretty skeptical because It was four women who all accused him around the same time of sexually assaulting them in last century….doesn’t look right. Why did they wait until he was running for president? It sounds to me like they just don’t want him to be president and in doing this, they would achieve that goal along with gaining a little popularity. I mean, what are the odds that

Accuser #1: Oh my gosh! That’s the man that slapped my butt fifteen years ago! I need to report him! It’s the right thing to do! 

Accuser #2: Oh my goodness! he slapped my butt, too! I need to report him! It’s the right thing to do…

Accuser #3: Dear Heavens! Herman slapped my butt twenty years ago to!! Well I might as well report him since everyone else did…

Accuser #4: What a coincidence! He molested me too!! I need to get him convicted! Will they believe me, though? I guess I’ll do a public accusation…this is crazy…I always thought Mr. Cain was a nice man…

I mean there is a pretty slim chance that this is what happened…Here’s what I think happened…

Accuser #1: I’ll be darned if I let that greasy little slimeball win the election…I have to do something about this…not to mention I bet Kevin a hundred bucks that Cain would lose…I know! I’ll say he molested me! Yeah! They’d never know I was lying! Perfect!

Accuser #2: Mann, I hate Cain…that woman who thought up that whole molestation scam…she’s a genius…I bet if they heard the story from two people it would be more beliveable… *the next day* “Yes, sir…I was sexually assaulted my Mr. Cain…”

Accuser #3: “Oh yeah…uh…Mr. Can molested me too…that horrible Mr. Can… Oh it’s Cain? Well, yeah him…”

Accuser #4: I bet if I did the same thing but publicly, I’d get famous…they would make a documentary about me and…. *about thirty seconds later* 

“Oh mister Policeman! Yoooo Hoooo! I have something I need to tell you…”

Next accuser: “Yes Herman Cain molested me…and my daughter…oh and my husband too…oh and Puki, our parrot…oh and I almost forgot about…

Update: the 5th accuser has emerged…and what she says is even better than what I thought of…she says he…now if you are under thirteen you should probably stop reading…ASKED HER OUT ON A DATE!! Of all the groping and molesting he has done, this has got to be the worst…what this woman went through should not have to be experienced by anyone…Who does he think he is?! Asking women on dates like some sort of crazy person…this is a true monster we have on our hands…

But all joking aside, everyone should just leave him alone until someone gets some proof because he isn’t going to quit the race.

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Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “He gotta dirty mind…He got filthy ways…

  1. Absolutely indited subject material , regards for information .

  2. I would like to consider the chance of saying thanks to you for your professional assistance I have continually enjoyed checking out your site. I will be looking forward to the actual commencement of my school research and the overall preparation would never have been complete without surfing your web blog. If I may be of any assistance to others, I would be ready to help through what I have gained from here.

    • 1. You wrote that well. You sounded like a professor or a scientist or something…
      2. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL. I’m only 15. I can (while it hasn’t happened and probably never will 🙂 ) be wrong. I get all of my info from other sites (legit ones, of course)
      3. I wouldn’t recommend using blogs for school research…
      4. If you still want to use my blog for research, just be able to separated fact from opinion.

      5. Thanks for that comment so much. It was very flattering…call me. JK (JUST KIDDING AS IN THAT WAS A JOKE). I really do appreciate it though 🙂

  3. Love your musings, very funny stuff. And I like your perspective. Watch the typos though. Keep it up. Peace.

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