Nutty No-No

This didn’t come from the Lede…just some of my thoughts…

You know who I really feel sorry for? Kate Middleton. ‘How could you possibly feel sorry for her! She has everything she wants! She’s married to a friggin’ PRINCE!’ But does she really have everything she wants? If I were her, I’d like a little privacy once in a while…I would like to be able to go out of my home alone without people crowding around me like I grant wishes…and I’d like to be able to not like peanuts without a global freakout that I might have heard about a peanut study that hasn’t been proven and decided not to eat a peanut paste because I must be pregnant…

‘But why else would she refuse the peanut paste if she doesn’t have a peanut allergy?’ MAYBE SHE JUST THINKS PEANUTS ARE DISGUSTING! LEAVE HER ALONE!! I mean, if you KNEW that you have despised the taste of peanuts all your life and someone offered you a sticky, slimy fingerfull of peanutty horror would you eat it?! And even if she IS pregnant…WHY ARE PEOPLE ACTING LIKE SHE’S GOING TO KEEP IT A SECRET FOREVER?! Eventually, if she is pregnant…guess what…WE’RE GONNA FIND OUT WHEN HER STOMACH IS THE SIZE OF A SMART CAR!

I hope she does have a secret child that she passes off as a regular kid for all the little rascal’s life…just to get back at all of you stalkers that won’t leave this poor woman alone.

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